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Hows Santa Knows IF you've Been Good
Sung to the tune of...
"Santa Claus is Coming to Town"
              You better watch out,
              You better not cry,
              You better not pout,
              I'm telling you why,
              Santa Claus is tapping,
              Your phone.

              He's buggin your room,
              He's reding your mail,
              He's keeping a file
              And runnin a tail
              Santa Claus is tapping
              Your phone

              He hears you in the bedroom
              Surveills you out of doors
              And if that doesn't get the goods
              Then he'll use provocateurs.

              So you mustn't assume
              That you are secure
              On Christmas Eve
              He'll kick in your door
              Santa Claus is tapping
              Your phone

(Supposedly written for and sung at a U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Legal Counsel, Christmas party during the Carter Administration.) --Eugene Volokh, UCLA Law
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